My Mission To Pittsburgh: A Health and Life update

Hi all!

Sorry I didnt get an email out for last week. I honestly wrote one up but it turned into more of a conversation TO myself about the things I need to re focus on. I almost sent it, but it was kinda weird to be honest. So, Ill re cap as much as I remember about the past 2 weeks.

I had Christmas with my family this year. It was really hard for me because that was something I had really looked forward to as a missionary in the field... Skyping home and receiving a special package from my family...serving and testifying of Christ. Anyways, it was tough but it was also necessary.

That week was kinda brutal on me. That Wednesday I went to my Neurologist for the first time, Doctor Clark. A woman in our ward referred us to him because he was LDS and was super awesome. I am SOOO grateful because this doctor has turned out to be a lifesaver. I went in and he did a quick physical exam and we just talked about the situation. I repeated the same story for the thousandth time.. there was a massage.. couldn't feel my body.. Ambulance ride.. it kept happening.. got sent home.. cried a lot.. and its still happening.. please help.. SOS... etc etc.

He ordered more tests to be done to rule out some of the more serious causes. We went to schedule the tests he ordered and it was a huge tender mercy because they could get me in to do the blood work on the SAME day and they scheduled a brainwave test, EEG, the following day. This ladies and gentleman is simply unheard of in the medical world. Usually its weeks! Not days! Such a blessing.

So, I went in immediately after to get a bunch of blood drawn, but as I mentioned in previous emails, I have TINY VEINS. EVERY SINGLE TIME I get blood drawn, they miss my vein and start digging for it so I end up super bruised and they have to try it somewhere else anyways. I went into this already super lightheaded but dismissed it because I was tired of telling people I didn't feel good. Yeah, stupid mistake.

After she finally got blood to come out of my hand, I waited and waited for her to be done taking the samples, she took it out, and I totally started blacking out and falling over. What a blast!! We spent another 20 minutes there while I regained my strength and consciousness so my Dad could try to half walk me and half carry me out.

Super glad that was over and I went home to sleep off the dizziness. The next day, I had an EEG brainwave test. I went into a separate room with a huge machine with cords all over and a little bed off to the side. I was in there with a nurse for 2 hours. She put this medical net on my head with little electrodes all over it and stuck each one to my scalp. The net was previously soaking in Johnsons baby shampoo so at least I smelled good right?

She did some weird tests.. She asked me to close my eyes and to look in different directions. Its like she could tell where I was looking because of the machine. It was CRAZY! She then needed me to do a hyperventilation test and I had to breathe really heavily nonstop for three whole minutes and I warned her that I do have a tendency to pass out lately. It was also a BLAST. I love getting super dizzy at the hospital! After that she had me lay on the bed for 45 minutes and asked me to try to sleep so she could monitor my brain activity. Luckily (And unluckily) my body started spazzing a little bit, not a lot, but enough to hopefully pick something up on the machine.

The day immediately after that, I had scheduled an appointment with an LDS family services counselor and he was really awesome. He just listened to everything going on RIGHT NOW. I didn't have to tell him about the health issues. I could just talk about the fact that I was home from my mission and we worked through the feelings of anger and disappointment. It was amazing and SO needed.

Okay, so 2 weeks ago I was basically really sick and in bed most of the time. BUT last week was pretty crazy too!

Another tender mercy happened! My grandma called my Mom one day and said she was reading the Ensign, (The January 2018 issue) and there was an article in it about returning home early from a mission!!! This sister returned, get this, three and a half weeks into the MTC due to health issues. Is this article about me?? I was amazed. She offered some great advice about how to keep yourself busy while trying to get back out on your mission. In fact, because of the article, I signed up for three BYU independant study courses. I'm taking all religion classes so I can get a head start on those credits, but also so I can stay focused on my missionary goal. Such a blessing!!

Last Wednesday, I had another appointment up in Albany for a spine and a neck MRI with and without contrast. Okay, wait contrast? What on Earth does that mean?? Well. Let me tell you.

I go in, and they do the MRI for about 30 to 45 minutes. Great, I can go now? NOPE. They needed to do the entire MRI over now, WITH what is called contrast. Okay???

I shortly found out that I was about to get stuck with a few more needles. They had to inject a special high contrast dye in my bloodstream so it would show up in the pictures of the MRI. And yes, the nurse missed my veins twice. The second time, she really DUG into my hand and it was SO painful but she really thought she could get it. NOPE. Because she missed, she injected a nice pool of dye in my hand and it started swelling and turned blue over time because of bruising. Fun right?? After waiting a few minutes, she tried once more and thank heavens she got it! We were both rejoicing, haha.

Other than the day I got that MRI done, last week I felt SO good. Almost normal even! It was seriously such a great blessing from my heavenly father. I really needed to focus on what is most important. I was so focused on how I was feeling the week before, that I found myself no longer caring what the outcome was in the long term. I just wanted to sleep all the time. Mission, no mission.. mission? Maybe not? Honestly I didn't know why all of a sudden I was questioning that decision. So last week, with my health back up, I really focused on my purpose as a missionary. And holy cow I just want to go RIGHT NOW SERIOUSLY.

A Sister from my district in the MTC sent me the sweetest package a while ago. I opened the mailbox, saw her name on it and started weeping. Sister Willes is one of the kindest and most thoughtful people ever and I seriously love her a lot. She got me a music composition book and its just beautiful.

We had originally scheduled to follow up with my neurologist on February 12th. Almost a month from now.

My Mom stopped by their office just to let them know we had finished all of the tests when the lady up front said, "I know we have you scheduled for February, but Doctor Clark but Charlotte's name on his emergency list. He can get her in on Wednesday if you would like." We absolutely rescheduled right then and there. I feel so blessed. Heavenly Father is looking out for me and I am grateful that my neurologist is so understanding of how important returning on my mission is to me. He even put me on an emergency list that had very few spots.

So, this Wednesday, I get some real results!! I honestly don't even know what to expect at this point. Do I want them to find something? I mean, yeah kinda.. But I also really don't.. Because if we can sign off on this being some injury that has gone away or has started to heal itself, I might as well already be on a plane with a nametag close to my heart.

Brothers and Sisters I love you dearly. Thank you so much for being with me on this journey. I didn't realize how many of you read these emails and are caught up with my story until I didn[t get one sent out last week, haha.

I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. Just saying his name will often bring me to tears. In the MTC, I was taught that whenever we say Christs name in a sacred setting, the spirit will ALWAYS enter the room.

I am also so grateful for the opportunity I get to REALLY study the Book of Mormon while doing these online classes. I can testify to you that this Book is the most correct book of any on the Earth. And that by prayerfully reading and studying it, we can come to know for ourselves that the spirit teaches, Christ lives, and God loves.