Recuperating from home, and the hunt for what's wrong

Last week I have had the glorious opportunity to go out with the trio of Sisters over the Springfield 4th and 5th ward. They are seriously AWESOME! And I wish I took pictures with them, but I will try to do better about that this week. 

On Tuesday, Sister Rhoton and I went tracting near Mountaingate across main street and it was QUITE the adventure. The very first door we knocked on was opened by someone clearly on something and he just said, " OH you ladies came at the WRONG time.." Sister Rhoton asked what he meant by that and he just said, " I'm about to get REAL High right now..."

The next evening I went out with Sister Hawkins and we visited an investigator with a baptism date name Kyra. She has two little girls and is just super sweet. We showed her the Light the World video and taught a quick lesson. Love them!

Sister McClellan and I also went tracting this week and ran into a lot of people who are just as crazy as many of the others we had encountered. We are continuing to share our Light the World video because its a short and sweet way to invite them to act this Christmas season and to learn more about Christ. We have also just been going around asking if families have any Christmas traditions.

ANYWAYS... 

We also met with this guy named Mitchell Saturday morning and before I went, I asked heavenly father what I should study in my scriptures. I turned to the last book of First Nephi and just studied that chapter because why not?  We got there, and he had been studying the book of Mormon that week and had questions about certain verses in the last book of First Nephi. CRAZY RIGHT?? #Blessings!  Mitchell is a pretty interesting guy, but we love him anyways. 

I'm skipping around a bit, but on Friday night, I went to the Christmas Feaste at the High school with my family and it was SO weird to be back there. I only just graduated in June so everything is still pretty familiar but again, its hard not to think about all of these events I WANTED to go to, but knew I would be gone on my mission for. Part of me feels super guilty when I go see things like this feaste, Coco, Star Wars, Olaf's Frozen Adventure, etc because I wasn't supposed to be here for them. I'm still adjusting to that idea I guess. 

On Saturday night, I got to spend a few hours with Kayla which was SO needed. We watched some of the new Tangled the Series episodes and took breaks in between to talk about just.. EVERYTHING. Felt amazing and I love her a lot. 

At church on Sunday, I was studying the book of Matthew and the speaker that day in Sacrament meeting out of the blue started referencing the exact verses I was marking. Matthew Chapter 4 is amazing by the way, I highly recommend. And again, #Blessings! 

Wednesday was a really hard day for me. Last Wednesday was the day my district from the MTC made the trip from Provo Utah to Pittsburgh Pennsylvania. I wanted to be with them so desperately. I didn't want to start thinking about the next steps in this whole process. Get a job? Start a term of college? I just wouldn't even think about it because I wasn't supposed to need that. I was supposed to worry about those things after my mission was over. And still being in missionary mode, I wouldn't let this dream of getting right back out die just yet. 

We decided to go to the temple that day which was super important for me. 

The temple in Portland is about two hours away from where I live, and I had a lot of time to just think about how I was feeling in the car. Probably too much time to think, because I was in tears almost the entire way up. I got an email while we drove from Ava, one of my investigators in the MTC. She just felt prompted to email me right then and to thank me for the way I was able to teach her at the MTC. She had heard that I went home and she wanted to let me know that she could feel so strongly that I was home for a purpose beyond what I could imagine. Obviously, this only made me cry more, but it was such a sweet tender mercy. Heavenly Father knew I needed comfort and the holy ghost prompted Ava to reach out to me when I needed it most. I love everything about this gospel brothers and sisters. Miracles are absolutely real. 

Portland temple day with my parents

On Sunday night, I was feeling a little lightheaded and sick and after going 7 days without any major medical issues, my body went through another one of these episodes. I was so upset that I had gone without one for so long and that this was happening to me again.

Yesterday, Monday, I was still feeling pretty lightheaded and shaky and wasn't really sure why. My family picked me up to go and see the new Star Wars movie, and by the end of it, I was afraid to move my body because I knew moving even a little bit could set this whole thing off again.   As we left, my body started convulsing again and muscles were out of my control. My Dad and I then spent the next 6 hours of the day in the ER sitting, waiting, doing blood tests, filling out paperwork, and even doing an MRI.   I absolutely didn't want to be there. 

I was so sick of doing this. It was my first time back in the ER since I first went three weeks ago, on that same day. I was ready to pass out and just exhausted, but we had to just keep pushing through because I really wanted any answers or information they could give me.

And then tender mercies started FLOODING in.   A lady came into the room where I was laying and wheeled me over to take the MRI. She asked me if I wanted to listen to some music while I was in the machine for the next 25 minutes. I said sure and she gave me these huge head phones and turned on some Christmas music. 

For those of you who haven't experienced an MRI before, it is SUPER loud and kinda claustrophobic. I wasn't too worried about any of that because I was so sleepy anyways and could've easily fallen asleep in there, but it meant that I could only hear the first three christmas songs or so until the machine got too loud to hear anything. 

First song was Idina Menzel singing an original from her Christmas album. I just kinda chuckled because it was a pretty cool coincidence right? The Queen herself was singing while I was getting my head scanned. Awesome. 

Second song is one that some of you may not recognize. But as I've done splits with the missionaries, lately we have been really trying to share the Light the World videos. All of a sudden the instrumental music to those cute little videos started playing through those headphones. WHAT?? Where did they even get that music? Helping the missionaries, I have heard that song play over and over again and it was amazing that I was hearing that song here in the Riverbend  MRI machine. The machine was getting louder so I only heard bits and pieces of the next song, but throughout the song, I heard the word Pennsylvania sung multiple times. I was stunned. 

After the MRI was over, I was super lightheaded and dizzy. The lady wheeled me back into the room with my Dad, who was flipping through the TV channels. 

I wasn't worried before now. But all of a sudden this fear of the doctors actually finding something on the MRI sunk in. I didn't want to show it so I just swallowed those thoughts the best that I could and tried to relax and get my head back on straight. 

My Dad was flipping through and stopped on one of the channels. And of Course, Frozen was playing. 

I'm sorry, but what are the odds of that??????? 

I am still amazed Brothers and Sisters. Amazed. 

The doctor returned. Blood work was clear, MRI showed that my brain was okay and I didn't have any tumors!

I was thrilled. And then I was frustrated. 

Because we are no closer than when we started to figuring out what got me sent home. But, now at least the process has begun. And finding answers is in our future. 

I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I love the scriptures. 

I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. It teaches each of us differently according to our needs if we seek to find understanding and guidance. 

Miracles aren't huge events that rarely occur
.

Miracles are a DAILY occurrence. But they are only noticeable if we choose to see them as such. 

My challenge for you this week, is to write down the miracles you witnessed. Both the big and the small. 

I promise that the more you look for these tender mercies, the closer to God you will become. I truly believe that He is so much closer to each of us than we ever thought. He is aware of you. He sees you and understands your aches and pains. He Loves you. His Love is infinite. And because of Christ, all things are possible. 

I'm fighting for that nametag...  But Mostly for His Name.